The thought that use to run through my head as i was getting closer to my graduation date was "Wow! I made it, i'm finally off to college!" It's crazy to think that i accomplished as much as i did in that moment. As the months got closer and time was running against me, i soon realized that i was soon leaving the place i called home for 18 years and off to live in a completely new area without knowing anyone and what made me even more nervous was that i would be living with someone i know nothing about or have never lived with; complete strangers in one room. It's funny because i remember turning to college movies or shows and thinking "OH MY GOD! Having a roommate is going to be the best experience ever!" Don't worry, those thoughts didn't stay with me long knowing that movies are always overdramatic! But i did try to have a good perspective coming into college, because that is the best way to do it. Now that i am coming down to my first completed year of college, i realized that not everything is the "best experience ever", and for me that came down to one long and dreadful conflict that is now becoming a forgotten memory.
Being a freshman means having a lot of experiences headed your way; good and bad, it's safe to say that most of my first semester was more of a mix of bad rather than good. College is all about meeting new people and finding you click in social, academic, and personal life standings, and i did for the most part but the one thing that never clicked since the beginning was the matching of my former roommate and i. The funny thing is that we were complete opposites when it came down to everything; point-of-view on school, social life, relationships, friends, etc. There was no way i could have made it work with her, conflicts was always a part of our relationship. When I realized the enormity of the problem I decided to remove myself from such a toxic environment. The realization is what saved me from the negative place I was living in.
I know that i'm the type of person that likes to talk it out but i also know if i get the sense that the other person doesn't want to talk it out or fix it i won't waste my breathe trying to make everything okay again if they won't put in the effort i'm putting in. In this unhealthy relationship, it came to a point of not talking to each other at all or even mentioning anything once it happened, basically holding a grudge rather than communicating, which was fine by me because that was the last person i would want to talk to. There definitely was a lot of tension when it came to fixing the conflicts and that is what created more conflicts later, it was a repeating cycle. Being that i was put in this situation, i also knew it was for a good reason; being that it was a way for me to grow and understand my own and others attitude toward conflicts and how to feel with resolving them. Fortunately, as a former roommate, i did try to do the right thing by trying to seek peace or a compromise but left the emotions out of it because with emotions everything is harder. Considering that i was the one with the emotions rather than my former roommate it made me get stronger within myself.
Conflicts will always sneak up on you and try to distract you from your purpose, and distraction can become a huge problem. I saw this whole experience as a huge distraction most of my first semester because it was a conflict happening in my everyday life, but i decided to remove myself from it all for the better of myself and my purpose of being in college. I was put in a better situation this past semester, which eventually helped me to have better communication and observation skills and currently when there are issues with my roommates it doesn't become this everyday conflict, it is a conflict that gets fixed between all of us by talking and listening because we want peace, harmony and love for our relationship and the environment we create everyday. A conflict that was becoming the better of myself is now just a faint memory.
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