Spanglish Interpersonal Conflict

Deborah's Infidelity

Conflicts abounded within the Movie "Spanglish".  All the occupants of the residence seemed to be at odds with each other at some point or another.  Usually this resulted in comic relief for the viewer but more often than not the cast member’s characters were left feeling unsatisfied with the actions of their family and friends. Moreover the aforementioned conflicts were replete with ineffectual resolution tactics which usually only exacerbated the issues at hand.

One of the most salient conflict concepts that I observed within the Movie "Spanglish" was the concept of avoidance. Specifically this pertained to John and Deborah's conflict about Deborah's infidelity. Deborah chose to come out and reveal her extramarital rendezvous to John after much deliberation and weighing of options with her mother.  After reaching the decision to reveal her unfaithfulness she decides to tell John at night once they are alone.

Initially Deborah tries to sugarcoat what had transpired and John seems to catch on but remains quite evasive and despite seeming to know what had happened steers the conversation in another direction and avoids addressing the issue head on.  Deborah burst into tears and while sobbing continuously attempted to convince John of her tryst’s veracity. She continued to drone on and unfurl a litany of apologies despite John turning the other way.  She domineered the conversation and initially gave little opportunity for John to speak his mind.   I believe that this was ineffective since she gave little leeway for John to maneuver with within the context of the conversation.  Furthermore while alluding and heavily implying that infidelity had occurred Deborah does little to explicitly state just how far she had taken the affair.  She conveniently leaves off vital details and instead of explaining her behavior as she should have in order to engender collaboration she merely continues her never-ending tirade of apologetic and imploring remarks.  She has to surpass the breadth of the conflict before she finds the courage to let John know that she had done the deed and been intimidate with the other man.  I find this tactic to be mostly futile since it took the majority of the conversation for her to address the elephant in the room and let John know what she had done so that they both could commence collaboration.

As John Bears witness to Deborah’s tirade he insistently tries to avoid the subject and shirk any means of addressing the issue at hand.  If he truly wished to resolve the issue, I believe that this approach could only prove to be inimical towards their relationship as he is only forestalling the inevitable conflict and thereby straining the relationship as it was bereft of collaboration.  Once recognition rears its ugly head and John comes to full grips with what has happened John pleads with Deborah to reveal the full extent of her infidelity.  Once he becomes cognizant of her sexual intimacy with another man a distraught look of resignation washes over his face and he chooses to completely avoid the conflict by vacating the premises.  Soon after he finds himself in the arms of Flor.

In conclusion I feel that neither party really wished to collaborate and resolve the issue at hand.  I believe that what had transpired was too severe and in cheating on John Deborah had mortally wounded their relationship and crushed any chance at their marriage’s reconciliation.  Moreover their tactics were rife with inadequacies.  For example John’s avoidance and unwillingness to address the issue conflated with Deborah’s domineering and then shirksome attitude spelled disaster for not only that conflict but the relationship at large.