Spanglish (Flor's Conflict Tactics)

Flor’s Conflict Tactics

                Flor is usually quite stubborn and set in her ways.  She has her notions of what should and should not be done and has very little leeway in terms of swaying and listening towards different schools of thought.  For example she is quite adamant that no one should be involved in her daughter’s life and that others do not have any place interfering with her and her family’s affairs.  I feel that there is nothing wrong with this in and of itself but I couldn’t help but think that there were other ways in which Flor could have went about resolving the issues at hand. 

                For example Deborah one day decided to take Flor’s daughter out to get her hair done without Flor’s knowledge or consent due to Flor being asleep at the time of the excursion.  Deborah had left a note which notified Flor that Deborah had taken out her child but Flor found herself enraged and felt quite compelled to notify Deborah and the family of her harshly stern feelings.  Due to her English and subsequent communicative limitations she had asked her daughter to draft a stern letter on her behalf and to promptly deliver it to Deborah.  Instead of initiating a collaborative and mutually beneficial discourse in which both parties voiced their concerns Flor instead opted to broadcast the whole of her negative emotions and turmoil.  Deborah was admittedly somewhat indignant but was apologetic nonetheless.  She told Flor she was sorry and would not let it happen again but one was able to tell from future gossip that Deborah was somewhat irked at Flor’s forthcoming and abrasive approach towards conflict resolution.

                Personally I believe that the previously delineated conflict could have been resolved through collaboration. That is Flor could have instead chosen to remain calm and not let her angry feelings blind her.  She could have let go of any ill will and instead voiced her concerns and opinions while letting Deborah do the same.  Together they could have worked towards a resolution without the anger or turbulence. 

                Another example is Flor’s rage at John going over her head and issuing sums of money to his daughter in exchange for collecting sea glass.  Upon discovering this financial arrangement Flor becomes quite ornery and enraged.  She then in a flurry of anger once again utilizes the services of her daughter in order to convey the full depths of her indignation and sour feelings towards John for his actions.  I feel that this was a detrimental way to initiate a discourse in that it established a negative setting and base for reconciliation and resolution.  With that being said Flor proceeds to let John know how abominable it was that he did so without firstly contacting her and I believe she felt that doing so subverted her role as a mother of her daughter.  Flor continues to transmit her feelings of rage through her daughter and then storms up the stairs at which point John calls her a hypocrite for interfering with the affairs of his daughter.  Flor is slightly taken aback and to John’s surprise concedes his point and acknowledges her fault in the issue.  They then reach an agreement.

                I believe that this conflict could have been handled through more collaborative means.  Flor could have calmly voiced her concerns about Johns Behavior and allotted John his time to convey his feelings so that they both could have worked towards a resolution.

                I personally believe that Flor could be taught collaborative techniques.  She should learn to let go of her ill will and instead to calmly voice her concerns and feelings. Instead of lashing out at those who anger her.  This would poster herself and all other involved parties to be successful and allow true resolution to be reached. 

                This would ultimately lead to a less confrontational and abrasive Flor who would face her conflicts with a calm and efficient method of collaboration with her and the other parties involved.