Conflict is inevitable among families, and many families resolve conflict in different ways which makes a huge difference. Some families might resolve conflict and may grow closer together as they learn from one another and work hard to take one another’s feelings into consideration, and actually try and help the other person. Families who just argue about the issue and that don’t do much to try and solve it, will end up causing more of a conflict, probably worse than the one that they had before. If it the conflict is unresolved, it may lead to family members having anger, growing resentful toward each other, and trying to force other family members to take sides.
The first thing that families should do is state the problem and determine who needs to work together to develop the situation. When family members clearly identify a problem, they can begin to work on it. If the family members do not identify a problem or they avoid discussing the problem altogether, the resolution can be impossible and nothing will be solved. They also need to establish ground rules for resolving the problem. Set rules for how you are going to discuss what is causing the conflict and how you are going to solve it. Another thing to make sure, is that no one in the family is yelling and calling each other names. Yelling at each other is going to cause more conflict and create arguments that didn't even exist before.
When everyone in the family is together and discussing the issue, brainstorm solutions to the problem. Everyone should be allowed to offer input into the discussion and throw in their own ideas as to how they are going to solve the conflict. Don’t judge whether each solution is good or bad, but just try to create a list of potential solutions. Reach a solution, one that everyone agrees with and try to reach a consensus about which solution will best resolve the conflict. Each family member also has to have a certain task to do in order for the solution to work and each person should identify action steps they will take to work toward the solution.
I know that in my family, my sister and I would always get into arguments and conflicts with each other. The main reason we would get into conflicts would be because we would share a room and we didn't agree with each others style and personality traits. My sister was very messy and played her music very loud, while I was trying to study or do my homework. While my sister was very messy, I was very clean and organized and having two different personality styles, like we did, caused a lot of conflicts between the two of us. If I would have known these tips on how to resolve family conflicts, then I would have used them to my advantage and try to come up with a solution that we both could agree on. Communication is key in any relationship, whether it be family, friends, or a romantic relationship. Communication is the secret to a healthy friendship. While I yelled at my sister about her being messy all the time and being disrespectful by playing her music too loud, I could have just talked to her and tried to reach a solution to the conflict. Another conflict I have experienced would be with my mom and her sister a few years ago. My mom and my Aunt got into a huge fight and were yelling at each other and saying mean and cruel things about each other. My Aunt sent my Mom a rude and nasty message over social media about how horrible of a person she was, because she was too scared to say anything in person. They talk to each other now, but are not as close as they were once before, and I believe that if they both would have read and discussed these steps on how to resolve conflict and to learn from their mistakes then they would have reached a solution to the conflict, but they never did.
Conflict can benefit or hurt families in general. Some families can learn from their mistakes and become closer than they ever were, and some families could yell and get angry with each other and never talk to each other again. It depends on who you are as a person and your personality styles, because everyone is different and everyone handles conflict in their one ways, whether it is with family or friends, everyone experiences conflict sometime in their life.
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