Criticism This, Criticism That

Criticism is something everyone has to deal with. In my case, I receive most of my criticism from my parents. When I was living at home my parents used to find fault in many things that I did or did not do. They would criticize with the way I did my chores. For example, if I did not fold the linens right, they would make sure I knew it. Or if I forgot to wash all the dishes I would be ridiculed for it. I understand now that they were not trying to put me down or make me feel bad about myself, however at the time that was exactly how I perceived it. With the amount of criticism I thought my parents were placing on me, I began to get defensive and hence even more conflict arose. I thought I was being treated unfairly because the punishment did not fit the crime. They were criticizing left and right for things that I felt I should not have been blamed for. With that, I began to get really defensive and hostile. I denied their ‘accusations’ and avoided responsibility for the problems. This made my parents even more angry and then things escalated into raised voices and as a result, I would usually get privileges taken away. It was not until now, being away from home that I realize just how unhealthy living with criticism and defensiveness really was. Looking back at it, I now see that there is so many other constructive ways we could have handled those situations. My parents could have better approached the topic more calmly, using less words that made me feel like I was being attacked and I could have responded better, partially accepting blame for things but also having cool mature conversation about why I feel that I did not deserve to be put at fault for all that I was accused for.