Empathy and Understanding

Empathy in the most basic definition, is the emotional ability to understand someone else. After researching just about everything there is to know about empathy and its role in conflict, I thought I would write a blog about my thoughts and ideas on the topic and what I found. Empathy is a key component in resolving a conflict, one article called it the “X factor” in a resolution. For a conflict to be solved completely, there needs to be an understanding by at least one party of the other party’s needs. If one person in a conflict can step up and be the bigger person, by setting aside the presumption that a conflict has a winner and loser, then an issue can be solved through an understanding of opposing viewpoints.

While researching about the most basic definition of empathy, I came across a short story online about the concept of empathy rather than the role it plays in conflict settings. The story was about a farmer who wanted to sell four puppies, so he made a sign in his yard advertising that there were puppies for sale. A little boy walked up and asked the farmer if he could buy one of his puppies and held out money in his hand to pay for one. The farmer accepted the boys offer and asked the boy if he would like to pick which one he wanted. So the farmer called out his dog, and out of a doghouse walked the mother dog followed by four small puppies. The little boy was delighted at the sight, but also noticed something else in the doghouse.

A much smaller dog appeared from the doghouse and struggled to catch up with the other puppies. The boy pointed to the puppy and told the farmer that he wanted that one. The farmer explained to the boy that the dog was born with a bad leg and urged the boy that he did not want to buy it because the dog would never be able to run and play around. The little boy then rolled up one of the legs on his pants and revealed a steel brace running down his leg and told the man, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."

This story is a perfect example of empathy in its most simple form. The understanding that the boy has for the dog is the reason why he sees the two of them as a perfect fit. When you can relate to another person’s feelings or situation that they are in, it is warming to hear that someone also knows exactly how you feel and shows an understanding for your situation.