Blog #1 Conflict Memory

Angel Calderon
HCOM 214: Blake Rodger
3/4/15

Blog #1: A Conflict Memory

In my 20 years, I have had three jobs. My first job was at Well-Pict Berries, my second job at Domino's, and my current job is at Los Laureles Lodge. At Well-Pict Berries, my main job was to collaborate with two older men and make boxes for strawberry pickers. We would all begin working at 6:00am, picking up trash and stacking cardboard for recycling. At around 9:00am we would make boxes until our boss told us to stop, usually at 3:30pm. I'd literally spent all morning and part of my afternoons with the two older gentlemen from Monday through Saturday, for three and a half months. On my first day, one of the old guys was teaching me how to properly tie the boxes and I learned really fast because it was an easy thing to do. The old guy saw that I caught on pretty quick so at times he would leave the job to me, by myself. I never told him anything because as a kid I was taught to not disrespect older people and to stay humble. Deep down I was really frustrated and wanted to tell him to do his part and to stop being a lazy old man. My coworkers started noticing that he would leave his station frequently either to go to the bathroom (in which he took his sweet time) or just wander around. The action that really irritated all of us was that he would leave his work station five minutes early before our lunch break and two other breaks, to microwave his food. My first week was basically a "vacation" for the old man that mentored me because he left all the work to me. My coworkers told me to accompany them to our boss's office on my second week, and so I followed them. Our discussion with our boss was about the other worker that was slacking off and our boss took action. He talked with the old guy and eventually he was cooperating and doing his part of the job. I learned that day that communicating our problems in a discussion is much more effective than just arguing or throwing out indirect insults.

Last summer, I got a job at Domino's as a pizza delivery "expert." All in all it was a very fun job, however my boss and a couple of customers took away some of that fun. My first days went by smoothly without any problems. By my second or third week, I started noticing that my boss wanted all employees on their toes and working at a fast pace. I got yelled at a couple of times by him because apparently I was being slow, on a slow day. I never talked back and always followed orders, but just like my other coworker at Well-Pict, deep down I really wanted to explode on my boss and tell him he wasn't anyone to be yelling at me. By my fourth week, I got into the habit of being faster so I was sent to help out at the other Domino's in Salinas, CA. I really liked the other Domino's and eventually worked most days of the week there, so I would rarely see my boss. Working at the other store helped me avoid problems with my boss and I was very relieved. It was until my 7th week working there that I started encountering problems with customers.

The most vivid memory of a conflict with a customer was when they had asked for plates and cups and I did not know they had asked because my sticker receipt did not include those extra items. My coworker did not write down the extra items so I had no idea they wanted plates and cups. When I arrived at their hotel room, they greeted me and were very nice customers until they found out I wasn't carrying plates and cups. They almost yelled at me, but they hesitated because it was a hotel and they didn't want to cause bigger drama. I stood my ground and without aggression nor panic, I explained the situation to them and showed them my sticker receipt as well to support my argument. They eased off on me and eventually cooled down. They said it was okay and that it wasn't my fault so we ended in good terms and I left. 

I had a couple of other minor problems with customers and I learned that some customers want to be treated like kings or queens. I constantly reminded myself that I was working for a big company so I learned to have more self-control and if there was ever a problem then try to solve it quickly and efficiently. 

I haven't had any problems with my current job and I guess that's good, my coworkers have good communication and good understanding of one another so it makes everyone's jobs easier.

From my three jobs, so far, I have learned that life after high school introduces you to many conflicts and the manner in which an individual manages those conflicts can either break that individual into pieces or make that individual a stronger person.

My Relationship with Conflict

James Armstrong

HCOM 214

Professor Blake Rodgers

3/4/15

My Feelings Towards Conflict

With regards to my own experiences I have personally witnessed the majority of the conflict suffuse both the worlds of school and family. On that note, Conflict for me usually elicits a sour feeling. I would rather avoid it if possible and have the issue disappear. Therefore I personally choose to usually apply the avoidance tactic when possible as I would rather avoid the issue at large and see if I am able to "sweep it under the rug" so to speak.

For example, when I was a freshmen in high school I would routinely cut class and this engendered a conflict with the administration. This was attended by several notifications stating that they would take punitive measures against me. With my younger frame of mind, I opted to avoid the whole issue and to just avoid school and thereby avoid the conflict at hand.  I found myself routinely staying home and in this instance at least I only served to exacerbate the issue as I progressively accumulated more and more cuts which subsequently caused me to rue the idea of returning to school.

Avoidance, in this case at least, proved to be less than ideal as it only exacerbated my dilemma and in the end I was forced to compensate for my cut classes with community service around the school. It was less than ideal and I found myself feeling frustrated and disappointed in myself for not engaging the dilemma head on and addressing it in its infancy instead of later on.\

Another tactic I routinely utilize is that of engaging and perhaps searching for a compromise in order to allay any negative or inimical feelings.  For example whenever I have any petty squabbles with my sister whether it be about cleaning around the house or obligations I tend to gravitate towards a compromise and seek to find a solution that mutually benefits both of us.

All in all, conflict is something I definitely do not relish. Yet when confronted with it I believe that a solution can almost always be reached and that discourse will usually yield said solution. As long as all parties involved are reasonable and capable of looking past any negative feelings in order to reach a mutually beneficial solution. 

My Conflict Memory

As a child of separated parents, where my time was spent was often a tug of war between my parents. Christmas Eve here, Christmas morning there, “You got her last year so I should get her this year… No you definitely had her last year I’m pretty sure…” Every weekend, break, and holiday was the same because it was never really a choice. I couldn’t wait to turn 18 and go to college because then, I thought, since I wouldn’t be living with either of my parents, and therefore I wouldn’t be in the middle of a never ending battle over my time.

            Recently, my mom moved to San Diego, which is 5 hours away from the town where I grew up, went to school, and my dad lives, making spending a break with both of them a lot more difficult because I’m not going to spend breaks driving back and fourth between the two, only to return to school soon after. I was back to where I started, having to pick which holiday I was going to spend with which parent and hoping it was the same amount of time so that neither parent would be offended or hurt that I chose to spend more time with the other. Because home is much closer to CSUMB than San Diego, and I visit much more often, I decided to spend Christmas and summer breaks with my mom, as they’re the two longest of the year, and the rest of my free time with my Dad.

I thought my plan was pretty solid, and even if it wasn’t, it was the best I could come up with, but my mom seems to have a problem with it. I just spent all of Christmas break with her; an entire month, and she still wants me to fly down for spring break, not even taking into account that I haven’t been home since Thanksgiving. It’s really irritating, because not only am I old enough to make my own decisions, she’s still treating me like a kid. I’m still going home, but every time I talk to her there’s some mention of how sad or disappointed she is that I won’t be there for spring break. At this point I feel like she’s trying to make me feel guilty, and the more she does so, the more annoyed I become. I understand that because I’m in college now we don’t get to spend as much time together as we used to, but she’s completely disregarding the fact that my dad should get some time with me as well.       Usually I like to be upfront in conflict, but my mom seems really sure of her stance on this one, so I've given up my attempts to try and make her see my side of things. Hopefully, after spring break happens she goes back to normal because I feel like the fact that it’s still brought up every time we talk is ridiculous.

            Are other people’s parents this way or do they actually realize that you’re fully capable of deciding things for yourselves?

First Blog Entry

Ellie Soriano

HCOM 214

Blake Rodgers

4th March 2015

Annie Leonard's Story of Stuff

   The first video shown in class, the Story of Stuff, brought global conflict into perspective and created reason for mass communication to help make the world a better place. Her message was to show the destructive and doomed path of linear consumption from the first to beginning steps. She explained the negative effects of the way that a majority of people in the world is hurting our environment and how it will affect us as a whole in the long run. Her clear goal and message at the end of the video was to get people thinking about changing their ways and becoming proactive in bettering the system of communication.

   I believe that her audience were those of the younger more impressionable and active generations more specifically people of the ages of thirty to teens. I think her audience were those of younger generations due to the style the video is made in, in reference to the cartoons visually expressing her oral speech, as well as mentioning how the current main method of consumption will be affecting our future.

   The risks and constant statistics of toxins is a leading topic she uses to convince people through fear to listen to what she has to say as well as emotional anger in the audience having to do with saying how we as people will basically be screwed over and can’t change anything if no one is active to change the way they consume products.

   I do not think that Leonard is very bias in her speech and research even though she claims that the main cause of our society doing bad to the world due to linear consumption because I believe the leading cause of this ‘doomed consumption’ is indeed corporations.

   I think she has very general and good resolutions to making a cycle of consumption rather than a linear ‘cycle’. I agree with her resolutions and that people should change their ways for the better of this planet’s long term future, the resolution that I agree with the most that she suggested was making the economy and market more local rather than international as well as adjusting people’s mindsets on making renewable and clean energy more mainstream.

   I think what Leonard says affects everyone because we live on the same planet even though not everyone contributes to a more doomed planet. The main conflict in this video is actually after it is watched and what people will do in response. Getting people to become active to better our planet will be the most difficult part of conflict relating to this topic as well as getting people to believe that ‘Better’ is actually better than ‘More’. The most difficult part of communication will be getting large communities together to go against large corporations and changing policies within the government. However, despite all the difficulties it will take I think that people as a whole in the world will be able to change for the greater good.

Here is the link to the referenced video featuring Annie Leonard

Why you no respect earth?

Today the world faces a threat more dangerous than any disaster this planet has ever encountered (besides the dinosaurs demise[and the invention of the fedora]). We as a people are at a defining moment that will either set up a prosperous future or doom us all. It all comes down to what, us humans, are willing to give up in order to save our planet. At the speed we're headed, the place we call 'home' won't last another 1,000 years. That's really sad and quite selfish of us. Do we simply not care about our kin? Or are we too busy with social media to notice that we are rapidly approaching Earths premature expiration date? We take this planet for granted and won't realize what we had; life, until it's too late. Earth is the only known planet (currently) to have inhabitant organisms. Every other planet, comet or moon only has 'potential' for life. It's our duty to reverse pollution and nurture Earth back to health.

It's hard to imagine a world without pollution. The world has a plethora of accolades and only have pollution to thank for it (maybe some brilliant minds here and there[but mostly pollution]). Naturally we fear and deny global warming in order to keep moving forward, but the harms are beginning to outweigh the gains. More and more often we hear about the ice caps melting, or the poor air quality and at this point the problem isn't even about spreading awareness. The average person is well aware of the increasingly perilous state our planet is in but decide not to take action. The reason: drugs (lol jk). The real reason might be that people aren't experiencing the effects first hand. This is another crucial reason for why we haven't already stopped pollution. Kinda like a drug; we're addicted to technology and are constantly waiting for the next big thing(copy right Samsung[get your Galaxy S6 today!!]). This way of life is obviously bad for the environment and even have negative effects on our health. Reducing emission and finding alternative energy sources are the first steps in the right direction. This is (of course) easier said than done and will have many naysayers along the way.

Our waste is also a form of pollution that is (for the most part) unintentional and inevitable. Although we could try and reduce the amount of waste we produce, our society is structured around consuming and wasting. Constantly being shoved different products that will undoubtedly be replaced by variant models or newer ones. Everything ends up in the trash; ground, water(ocean), or air; and contributes to our planets low health.

One day we're all gonna die. Hopefully we leave our home in a better state than when we first arrived; or we can book-it to Mars 🔥🔥🔥🚀 *rocket ship emoji*

A Conflict Memory

    

        I feel that we all experience many major conflicts in our life. Some of those conflicts are solved with violence, others talk through it, some just keep on arguing and nothing gets done, and some try to ignore it all together. Emotions sometimes get in the way of what we are trying to say. There are so many ways to respond to conflict some good and some bad. There are many times when feelings get hurt, compromises are made, or nothing gets resolved. With conflict people either end of happy or mad with the turnout. Resolving conflict is a pain and I feel that most of the time it ends up with people compromising their feelings about whatever the conflict is about.   

        A major conflict that I have had was when I was fighting with my dad about where I wanted to go to school. He wanted me to stay home and go to CSU Stanislaus in my hometown. I wanted to get away because I felt that there is so much more out there and getting away was my chance to start figuring out life for myself. When I said that I wanted to come here when I first started applying to school he was all for it and said it would be fine if I wanted to come here. Then when the time came to make the decision he started to change his mind. I think part of the reason is because I'm an only child and that no one in his family went away to school. They mostly went to junior college or straight to work. This made me very upset. We kept butting heads about it and sometimes I would just storm out of the room. I usually the type of person to talk it through and be done with the problem, but with my dad it was a different story.  A couple of times I would end up crying because I was so upset that he was not listening to me. All I wanted was for him to happy for me. He was the only person who was not for me coming here and he was one of the ones whose opinion mattered to me most. My mom’s side of the family on the other hand were very happy for me that I wanted to come here. For them it meant that they could come to the ocean more than twice a year. Plus my cousin had just moved here for a job so if I needed anything I could just call him. They tried to help me convince my dad that I was making the right decision and telling him that I would only be a few hours away not a thousands of miles. Eventually he came around to the idea after we had a really, really long talk. My mom made sure that we both listened to each other’s opinions. The conflict was finally over but, you could tell that he was still upset. He is just now finally okay with me being here and I am happy for that. I feel bad sometimes for my dad because I didn't want to stay home but I think we are both realizing that I did make the right decision.

My Intrapersonal Confict

Rebecca Faundez

March 4, 2015
 

                  The amazing thing about the body is how feelings are connected with everything in your body, coming down to how you will act, what you will say/how you sound, to how you will look, how you will see or take things in your perspective, even how different you will think depending on that feeling. The thing with intrapersonal conflict is that it can really conflict with all the things already happening in your life, whether it's schedules, homework, work, social life, etc. Intrapersonal conflicts is  inescapable and it's part of our life to go through these kinds of conflicts but i think i'm still struggling to deal and face them.
             
                 One intrapersonal conflict that i see myself dealing with more often than most of my other self conflicts is how i normally beat myself up on always trying to be fit, eating healthy, and working out, which i know is some other people's conflict as well, but i feel that this is where i struggle most with my inner self. I decided to change my bad  lifestyle  when i was about a junior in high school, it came down to the basics of me not wanting to look the way i did and continue making bad choices, so i started joining my dad by starting a membership at the local gym by our house, and that was the start of a new lifestyle for me. Considering that i went to the gym everyday and went on a stricter diet, i was beginning to feel better about myself and i was growing stronger as a person because i started to see the results i wanted and was reaching my goals of looking and feeling fit and confident. When i was about half a year into my change i began to notice that i was harder on myself, which sounds good but it sometimes wasn't. I began looking at photos of healthy and very fit people thinking it would motivate me to keep going and reaching my goals, which don't get me wrong, It did that of course, but this is where the conflict meets me finally.
                 
                   Remembering that special saying, "You are what you eat", seemed to come more into play than ever! Looking at all those amazing pictures made me feel that there was no way i could stand a chance in looking like that, which was dumb at the time, but when i began comparing myself to everything i was looking at, i began to feel the conflict, i kept telling myself "i can't do it" or "there is no point" considering i was far off from any type of goal like that. Each day after that i began beating myself up or complaining to myself in my head whenever i didn't eat healthy, and did what i like to call "cheat" on my good eating habits. For example  when i would eat something bad i would say to myself " Why did you eat that? Don't you want to get fit? Well it's to late now! Better workout harder at the gym tonight!" and i would do exactly that and make sure that whatever i did wrong i would make up for it. Knowing that i do exactly, that makes me realize now how much of a conflict it became to me because i let it get to me and i didn't seem to know how to express it rather just letting it push my buttons. Noticing that i couldn't express my conflict took a bigger toll on my actions and how i handled them.

                 Having the feeling of intrapersonal conflicts can really take a toll on someone but  it all comes down to you, it's the most important part. Coming from a perspective where i didn't really express how it was affecting me shows that conflict can come in so many shapes or forms and it's important to know how to handle them whether it's within or with multiple parties. Not taking actions towards your conflict is the wrong thing to do and is avoiding, which should never be done because it only becomes bigger or get worse. I believe that by conflict coming into your life, it brings the challenges for a reason because it's meant to help you grow stronger as a person ,and besides, what's life without a lot of challenges and conflicts to come with it?