My Emotions in Conflict
I have been described as a pretty easy-going guy and easy to get along with. I believe that due to this attribute, it is almost impossible for me to get extremely angry, mad, or very pissed off. I tend to see conflicting situations with a sense of humor. Don't get me wrong, I don't take things as a joke, I just tend to find conflicts a little funny. I believe that people have no need to get very angry and start shouting and if you really just see a situation, it becomes hilarious. When I'm involved in a conflict I tend to have a really good "control" of my emotions and therefore it is rare if I raise my voice even to one decibel. I guess, in a way, my use of humor is an avoidance style but I always get a good laugh, or at least a good chuckle, when I find myself with silly humans.
I think I suffer from a very mild obsessive-compulsive disorder and that leads me to being a little bit of a perfectionist. I try my best to get everything right on my first try whether a physical task or a mental task, and many times I have. However, when I fail at something, I find myself with the feelings of mortification, distress, and fear. In high school, I was terrified by failure, failure was my biggest enemy. Now I tend to not care as much and it has helped me a lot. If it is a little mistake I committed, then it doesn't bother me, but if it's something in which people depend on me or if it's a job-related task then I do feel a little distress. My mind doesn't really grasp the famous saying of "we learn from our mistakes" I think that saying is more attached to a person as they age. Anyways, this perfectionist characteristic of mine holds me back a lot and I think I have been able to overcome it a little bit. I think this is also another reason why I avoid some conflicts.
I try my best to not show or at least to not mix my emotions with conflict. I'd rather just have a good straightforward talk with the other person about it and solve the conflict through healthy communication.
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