A Conflict Memory

    

        I feel that we all experience many major conflicts in our life. Some of those conflicts are solved with violence, others talk through it, some just keep on arguing and nothing gets done, and some try to ignore it all together. Emotions sometimes get in the way of what we are trying to say. There are so many ways to respond to conflict some good and some bad. There are many times when feelings get hurt, compromises are made, or nothing gets resolved. With conflict people either end of happy or mad with the turnout. Resolving conflict is a pain and I feel that most of the time it ends up with people compromising their feelings about whatever the conflict is about.   

        A major conflict that I have had was when I was fighting with my dad about where I wanted to go to school. He wanted me to stay home and go to CSU Stanislaus in my hometown. I wanted to get away because I felt that there is so much more out there and getting away was my chance to start figuring out life for myself. When I said that I wanted to come here when I first started applying to school he was all for it and said it would be fine if I wanted to come here. Then when the time came to make the decision he started to change his mind. I think part of the reason is because I'm an only child and that no one in his family went away to school. They mostly went to junior college or straight to work. This made me very upset. We kept butting heads about it and sometimes I would just storm out of the room. I usually the type of person to talk it through and be done with the problem, but with my dad it was a different story.  A couple of times I would end up crying because I was so upset that he was not listening to me. All I wanted was for him to happy for me. He was the only person who was not for me coming here and he was one of the ones whose opinion mattered to me most. My mom’s side of the family on the other hand were very happy for me that I wanted to come here. For them it meant that they could come to the ocean more than twice a year. Plus my cousin had just moved here for a job so if I needed anything I could just call him. They tried to help me convince my dad that I was making the right decision and telling him that I would only be a few hours away not a thousands of miles. Eventually he came around to the idea after we had a really, really long talk. My mom made sure that we both listened to each other’s opinions. The conflict was finally over but, you could tell that he was still upset. He is just now finally okay with me being here and I am happy for that. I feel bad sometimes for my dad because I didn't want to stay home but I think we are both realizing that I did make the right decision.