My Intrapersonal Confict

Rebecca Faundez

March 4, 2015
 

                  The amazing thing about the body is how feelings are connected with everything in your body, coming down to how you will act, what you will say/how you sound, to how you will look, how you will see or take things in your perspective, even how different you will think depending on that feeling. The thing with intrapersonal conflict is that it can really conflict with all the things already happening in your life, whether it's schedules, homework, work, social life, etc. Intrapersonal conflicts is  inescapable and it's part of our life to go through these kinds of conflicts but i think i'm still struggling to deal and face them.
             
                 One intrapersonal conflict that i see myself dealing with more often than most of my other self conflicts is how i normally beat myself up on always trying to be fit, eating healthy, and working out, which i know is some other people's conflict as well, but i feel that this is where i struggle most with my inner self. I decided to change my bad  lifestyle  when i was about a junior in high school, it came down to the basics of me not wanting to look the way i did and continue making bad choices, so i started joining my dad by starting a membership at the local gym by our house, and that was the start of a new lifestyle for me. Considering that i went to the gym everyday and went on a stricter diet, i was beginning to feel better about myself and i was growing stronger as a person because i started to see the results i wanted and was reaching my goals of looking and feeling fit and confident. When i was about half a year into my change i began to notice that i was harder on myself, which sounds good but it sometimes wasn't. I began looking at photos of healthy and very fit people thinking it would motivate me to keep going and reaching my goals, which don't get me wrong, It did that of course, but this is where the conflict meets me finally.
                 
                   Remembering that special saying, "You are what you eat", seemed to come more into play than ever! Looking at all those amazing pictures made me feel that there was no way i could stand a chance in looking like that, which was dumb at the time, but when i began comparing myself to everything i was looking at, i began to feel the conflict, i kept telling myself "i can't do it" or "there is no point" considering i was far off from any type of goal like that. Each day after that i began beating myself up or complaining to myself in my head whenever i didn't eat healthy, and did what i like to call "cheat" on my good eating habits. For example  when i would eat something bad i would say to myself " Why did you eat that? Don't you want to get fit? Well it's to late now! Better workout harder at the gym tonight!" and i would do exactly that and make sure that whatever i did wrong i would make up for it. Knowing that i do exactly, that makes me realize now how much of a conflict it became to me because i let it get to me and i didn't seem to know how to express it rather just letting it push my buttons. Noticing that i couldn't express my conflict took a bigger toll on my actions and how i handled them.

                 Having the feeling of intrapersonal conflicts can really take a toll on someone but  it all comes down to you, it's the most important part. Coming from a perspective where i didn't really express how it was affecting me shows that conflict can come in so many shapes or forms and it's important to know how to handle them whether it's within or with multiple parties. Not taking actions towards your conflict is the wrong thing to do and is avoiding, which should never be done because it only becomes bigger or get worse. I believe that by conflict coming into your life, it brings the challenges for a reason because it's meant to help you grow stronger as a person ,and besides, what's life without a lot of challenges and conflicts to come with it?
               



                 



                       

My Topic or Content Goals

Kayla Cota
HCOM 214
Blake Rodger
March 4, 2015

            In our lives, we are constantly encountering disputes in various relationship contexts. For college students specifically, we most likely come across conflicts within our romantic relationships, friendships, roommates, classmates, and maybe even professors. Personally, during my first year of college, my conflicts have mainly come from relationships with my roommates, friendships, and group projects with classmates.

            I have two roommates, which makes three people living in one small dorm room. One of my roommates and I get along extremely well, but we almost always have disagreements with our other roommate which causes many conflicts between us all. Most of the time, we all tend to be avoidant and try to deal with our problems internally. One time though, we just couldn’t take it. My roommate and I could tolerate our other roommate’s messy clothes scattered around the floor, but we couldn’t tolerate her leftover food on her desk. Towards the end of last semester, our roommate began to randomly leave for four to five days at a time without cleaning her area. She left trash not only in her trash can, but also on her desk. This trash wasn’t just empty bottles and wrappers from candy and chips, but it was actual food such as sandwiches and pie and Chinese that was there for days. Obviously, this food caused many problems such as creating an almost permanent stench. We finally had enough, so we confronted out roommate and asked her to clean her side before she left again. Unfortunately, this did not work; she continued to leave for long periods of time without cleaning up. We then decided to bring our RA into the situation, which helped a little bit. Our roommate doesn’t leave her food out overnight anymore, but continues to leave clothes all over the floor.

            Another common reason for conflict is disagreements in group projects. I think most people have encountered at least one situation in a group where others have maybe been uncooperative. For example, some members of the group may have done little to none of their assigned work, leaving one of the other members with most of the work to do on their own. Although this problem is extremely annoying, there are also other conflicts that arise from group projects. One of my groups was given a deadline that was two days after we were given the assignment. Due to us all having different schedules, we couldn’t find a time where we could all meet to finish the project. This forced us to meet the night before it was due, leaving us with hardly any time to finish. Of course, we all didn’t agree on what to do on certain aspects of the project, so this became a conflict. We first tried to collaborate by attempting to use all of our ideas, but that only made more disagreements and we also didn’t have enough time. We then had to create a plan that took way too long for all of us to agree on, therefore making our project not as good as it should have been.

            Having disagreements and arguments with friends isn't very common for me, but it does happen sometimes. For example, a friend who I met last semester asked if I would be her roommate next year. Unfortunately, I already had living arrangement plans so I politely told her I already told other people I would live with them. She didn’t take that very well. She began to be extremely passive aggressive which irritated me, so I confronted her and asked why she was upset. Since then, she has been very avoidant to the situation and especially to myself. I figured it was too small of a problem to get that angry about, so I just left it alone instead of arguing and creating a bigger conflict.

            All of these topics of conflict don’t seem to be similar, but they kind of are. Each of these conflicts all arose from a disagreement between two or more people. Conflicts are caused by many reasons, but they are especially caused by disagreements.

Compromise

  Being the youngest of the family gave me the opportunity to do things no one has seen in my family, such as going away for college. Most of my family members went to CSU Sacramento since it was a short 20 minute drive at most. I didn't want to go there. I wanted to be different and chose my own path to follow. I come from strict parents which means I had to be by eleven pm on the weekends, being 18 years old didn’t matter. I have to follow my parent’s rules since I live under their roof. My parents didn’t get it. Why would I want to go to a school 3 hours away when I have a school 20 minutes away? I wanted to have the freshmen college experience. I wanted to go away to college, have a roommate, join a sorority, and have those nights that I don't fully remember. I wanted to grow as an individual and learn who I am without the burden of my parent’s on my back. I was trapped in a jail cell, what I like to call my house.

  My parents didn’t even want me to apply to CSUMB, but on the last day that I could apply, I grabbed my visa card and applied with my own money. I had to apply. I had to even see if I would be accepted. I felt like I was closing off the door to my future without even trying.  I did what I had to do. I applied even if that meant spending fifty five dollars with the risk of being accepted or denied.

Once I received the rejection letter saying that the space was limited, I accepted that I was meant to go to CSU Sacramento.  I knew that’s where I had to go so I accepted it. There was nothing I could do about it. Then…a few weeks later, I received my conditional acceptance.

  This is when my house turned into an emotional wreck. Emotions were flying from room to room.  My parents were angry and sad. I presented them with a PowerPoint with the housing options, class options, and price. Financially, this was a terrible decision. I knew my parents had the money to afford it but I also knew it was not going to be easy for them. After many nights of angry parents and a crying Diana, we made a compromise.

  My parent’s made up their decision to let me go to CSUMB but the conditions were: NO family vacation and NO trip to Disneyland. WHAT? No trip to Disneyland? This is just not an option for me.  I knew I wanted to go away for college, so I accepted it. I said no to Disneyland, it broke my heart. I knew that in the long run it would be a good decision.  That night, I paid the deposit for housing.

  Although it was a hard decision to make, I had to lose some to gain some.  My parents were not happy emotionally but they knew financially they would be able to make it. Know both my parents and I are happy with the decision I made.

Remembering Conflict

Roxanne Guel
HCOM 214
3/4/15

                          Everyone experiences conflict, some are hard and some are easier to overcome.  In the past year, there has been a lot of conflict in my life.  One that significantly stands out in my mind is having to deal with my dad being in the hospital.  He was sent to the hospital due to an illness that he brought upon himself, which made it hard for me to feel sorry for him.  Usually I am someone who deals with conflict based on the situation.  However, I don't typically enjoy confrontation and having people have strong feelings towards me or someone else.  However with this conflict, I made sure everything was out in the open between my dad and myself.  Even though there were some strong feelings, it turned out to end in peace and harmony.  When dealing with conflict, I usually seek peace and harmony between all parties involved, and this situation was no different.  While this conflict with my dad was significantly difficult for me, it turned out to be peaceful and harmonious in the end. 

My History with Violence, Post #1

     I have often contemplated the impact violence can have on a person's life, especially my own. I think it tends to have dramatic impacts on families and individuals when violence is common and uncontrolled. In my life however violence has played a different role. The word violence often inspires thoughts of aggression or physical attacks, but for me violence was a controlled outlet and the pathway that led me to discipline and respect. I learned about violence through my involvement in martial arts. I started Tae Kwon Do when I was five years old and continued to practice until I moved to college just last year, that's thirteen years. Martial Arts isn't all you see in the movies with Bruce Lee cheesily smacking a hundred Chinese guys with his numchuks, it is not just a physical commitment but a mental one as well. While in martial arts more importantly than learning how to fight and defend myself I learned how to control myself and learned self discipline. While learning how to fight we learn to stop a punch or kick just inches from our opponent. I learned that the phrase "with great power comes great responsibility" was very true. When you become angry or frustrated at someone physical outbursts are just not an option because I have spent years of my life learning not to waste punches and when I hit I hit with accuracy and if I were to ever lose my temper real damage could be done. Knowing this growing up at my dojo we learn not only how to fight but how to have complete control over our emotions at all times.
     I often think this would be an effective way to treat people who are abusive especially at young ages. Martial arts can be a constructive outlet for their violence and aggression and potentially prevent them from transitioning into adulthood with these violent tendencies creating safer and more loving environments for their future families. I think it's interesting to contemplate peoples different upbringings potentially having such a large impact on their perception of society.
     What do you think about teaching martial arts to troubled youth? Giving them too much power or a method of helping them grow as a person?

Kristina Galeazzi
HCOM 214
Blake Rodgers
3 March, 2015
                                                          Conflict in the Workplace
             About two years ago when I started my first job at Taco Bell, I witnessed a huge conflict. The story goes like this.. It was about a week after my first day working there, so I was still very new and did not know many things yet. I was very scared and nervous to mess anything up or have anyone yell at me. I walked into into the restaurant, ready to start an 11-5 shift. I wasn't in a very good mood to begin with because it was a cold, overcast, rainy day and all I wanted was to sit by a fire and watch movies, but I couldn't because I had to go to work.
           When I walked in Taco Bell that day, it was very crowded with many customers everywhere. I walked into the break room and put my name tag on, as well as my hat and my hair up securing it with a hair net. I clocked in at the register and there was a huge line of customers wanting to order their food. Since I had just started my shift, I had to take their orders first before I cleaned or stocked anything. Customers were getting mad because things were running low in the dining area. As soon as I took the order of the last customer, I ran over and started refilling the sauce packets and getting more napkins out for the customers.
         As I was doing that, a customer who was an older lady, came up to me and started yelling at me, asking why her food was taking so long and complaining that this was the worst Taco Bell that she has ever been to. Everyone in the restaurant heard what was going on and the chaos that she was creating. My manager heard and came out to see what all the chaos was. My manager explained to her that she was sorry and that we are trying our best to get her order out fast, and even offered the lady her food for no cost, but the lady did not want anything to do with it anymore. The lady kept yelling and yelling at both of us, and eventually just walked out of the restaurant, after throwing all of the napkins on the floor and throwing several of the sauce packets at my manager and I.
         Conflict with customers in the workplace is a very difficult thing to deal with, but we have to learn to move on and try and do better next time. This was a conflict between an employee and a customer who both have different ways of dealing with things and do not necessarily see things in the same perspective, which causes conflict.
        Conflict is going to happen no matter what, it is inevitable. It is going to happen whenever you have people with different expectations. There are a few things that I could have done better to solve this conflict with the unhappy customer.  Two things that I have learned from this conflict is that I need to try and see things from the customers point of view, and thank the person for raising the concern, so that my co-workers and I can do better next time and try to avoid a conflict like this one again. If my manger had not helped me, I would try my best to remain calm and understanding and listen to what the customer has to say and try to establish common ground with her to show that I am listening and that something like this will not occur again. Whether you agree or disagree with the other person in a conflict, it is best to remain calm and understanding in order for the conflict to be resolved.

Blog Prompt #1

Andrew Zhu

HCOM 214

Blake Rodgers

3^rd March, 2014

Emotions in Conflict

            Four areas of conflict are usually within family, roommates, romance, and work. When conflict arises in each other these areas I, obviously, feel different emotions in relation to the situation and level of conflict. However, one of the common emotions I feel when conflict in general arises is pure irritation and annoyance with the person.

            Conflict within the family is probably the most common for people in general. Everyone experiences some sort of conflict between their parents or siblings. For me, I usually experience conflict with my siblings. My siblings and I don’t usually have conflict so much nowadays, but it was most prominent during our childhood. Although, I do not remember specific conflicts, majority of my conflicts with my older brother were about what morning cartoons we would watch. We would constantly fight about what channel we wanted because all our cartoons we wanted to watch would be on at the same time. I would start getting annoying and would grab the remote whenever I had the chance. My brother was a little more hands on and violent, but the past is the past. Although, that was just one example of a family conflict in the past, common emotions I felt would be, like I said, irritation, annoyance, frustration, and a little hint of hatred.

            During this year, I have not had any sort of conflict with my roommate which I am really grateful for. I am glad that my roommate and I get along, even though we do have many differences, but at the same time have many similarities in how we think and what we think about situations. I’m glad that we are different because I get to hear about his perspective on issues and hear about his life and what he has gone through and vice versa. When it comes to roommate, I feel blessed to have someone who is open-minded and easy to get along with. I hear many stories about how other people don’t get along with their roommates and have issues that I personally wouldn't know how to handle. If anything, I solve some of my conflicts with other people, by talking to my roommate. I generally feel really lucky to have a roommate who I can talk to about my feelings because not many males like hearing about feelings or even talking about their own, but with my situation we both talk to each other about anything, including romance.

            In the case of romance, I personally don’t feel comfortable sharing on this blog, so we’ll just move onto the work place. I've had a part time job at the state fair this past year and I plan on working there again this year. In terms of conflict, I didn't really have any conflict with anyone because all my co-workers were my friends in high school, so we all got along pretty well. If there were any sort of conflict, I guess it would have been some workers getting more breaks than others. Sure, I felt a little cheated, but I got more hours than them. I have not had enough time and experience in the workplace to have conflicts as of now. But I’m assuming if I ever did have conflicts in the workplace, I would feel angry and would try to distance myself from them as much as I could because I wouldn't want to look at them.